I was reading a blog tonight and the writer was talking about how some people express that they think homeschooled children can't possibly be socialized... I would imagine anyone that truly felt that way had never met a family that homeschools.. or not more than one. ***side note - Doesn't it totally suck when someone only meets ONE family that lives sort of like yours and they base everyone from there on out by them? "Well they homeschooled and they had WEIRD kids... so that was a BAD idea!" Here's a novel idea - weird kids come from weird parents. Not always... but for real yo.... that's been my observation. (I'm sorry in advance, kids. You probably did get at least SOME of my genes..)
I also have read at least two other blogs in the past week or so that had similar feelings, with different issues. Of course, many were in relation to being judged b/c of being a foster family. Oh the things people think.. but even more shocking, the things they actually say.. OUT LOUD.. TO YOU. And I thought my filter was bad!
Here's my beef: how can anyone seriously judge families that are only doing what they feel God is leading them to do? If they act out of love for their children, then how can this be harmful if they're not extremist fruit-cakes?
And, if we all screw up our kids by living out of the box.. what's it to you? How does this affect you and your life? It doesn't. I answered that for ya!
I try not to do many posts like this b/c it's just a topic that is likely to stir people up, and my goal in blogging now is just to document our walk through this journey and hopefully be approachable to anyone that stumbles upon this randomness, that might be wondering about fostering or adopting themselves. Also, I have to say, I USUALLY don't feel judged. Sure, people stare, and even giggle sometimes, at our family size. I mean, we do look rather odd, I admit it! I'd stare too I'm sure. :) People make comments like "Well you've got your hands full" but I don't see it as rude or mean. I think they are just curious, interested, and want to find a way to talk to me. They'd probably be much more obnoxious to me if they knew that 3 of my 6 children have different fathers... making a grand total of 4 "baby's daddies" to contend with - and they'd judge me harshly without knowing the truth of our situation. They'd miss that we also have two other "baby's momma's" to deal with... and when I say "deal with".. that sounds bad I guess, but in my brain-dead state it's all I can come up with. Give me a break, I've got 6 kids. Seriously.
I have no idea what the point of this post is. I guess to say, hey, we all feel judged. Even if we do what "most people do", whatever that is, there will just always be things that we feel especially sensitive about. Even if someone says something, and they're not judging, it can come across that way because of our thin skin on the topic. For example - it would not be in your best interest to try to convince me that fostering children that have no home is going to hurt or corrupt my own children. My response will likely be, "Oh.. yeah.. well I obviously don't care about my kids that much so it doesn't concern me." Humph. How else should we answer that? I did once rattle off the stat about how 1 in 3 women in the USA have been sexually abused at some point, and that 1 out of 3 women are NOT sexually assaulting children or other people in a moment of lost cool... and I think I also said, "and i'm not an idiot.. I promise I know more about this than you.. because we LIVE this.. and you don't." I'm sure that person hates me... not my best day.
So - let's all take this time to just get it all out! Pour your heart out people! Whether it's judgement you feel from homeschooling, public schooling, working, not working, spanking, not spanking, bottle feeding, breastfeeding, fostering, not fostering, or coloring your hair pink - let's have a hay day of it! Then, we can take a deep breath, feel better, and get back to our regularly scheduled programming. Everyone needs a vent day every now and then, right?